My heart is imperfect.
It also has the memory of an elephant. Sometimes it's a curse because I can remember every single heartache I've ever had about NOT being round and great with child. But most times, it resonates the healing that has happened. Somewhere along this journey, while still carrying around an empty womb, my heart was healed. All the cracks and fissures that happened because babies were being born all around me and none were mine - were sealed up.
I'm thankful for the memory of my tiny, hurt heart because it makes my new and improved heart that much better. It's stronger, larger and more capable of loving. It became calm and patient. My desperate pleas turned into quiet hopes. The babies being born all around me were wonderful and beautiful and I could hold them and smell them and be thankful that they joined us in this crazy life. It was okay that they weren't my babies. My once smaller, whole heart is now fuller with bulging stitches and cracks filled in with sacrificial cement from a loving Savior.
I'm so grateful for my new, stitched up heart fresh with scars and memory. Because I have a storm coming my way. A blessed, welcome storm. The way I see it, I will need three times the love. Three times the patience. Three times the gratitude. Three times the diapers! Our famine is over. Please pray for our little family. Pray that this new feast of blessings will continue to grow and thrive. We still have a long way to go until there will be sighs of real relief. But for now, I am calm. I am happy. I am blessed beyond what I deserve.
Isn't Chris going to be the best daddy?