I Do (the dishes)

Seven years ago, I wore an ivory dress (it's a red head, fair skin thing) and told my best friend I was legally and emotionally ready to spend the rest of my life (and the next) with him.

Fifteen minutes before the ceremony, I was nervous.  Sweaty palms, should I really be doing this, nervous.  I mean, MARRIAGE!  Come on.  It is serious business, despite the Bravo Channel and Kardashians trying to convince you otherwise. 

I'll never forget that first morning after the vows were said, dances were danced and cake was eaten. I went to check out from our honeymoon suite while Chris brought the car around.  

"Thank you for staying with us Mrs. Gallagher," the woman behind the front desk smiled and handed me a receipt. 

Mrs. Gallagher?  My heart jumped a little.  Both in excitement and panic.  I was no longer a single person.  Both in identity and name.  It was the first time I had been called by this new "Mrs." business.  She called me by a completely different name than the one I had been going by for the last 25 years.  I was no longer on my own.  Sickness.  Health.  Rich.  Poor.  Joy.  Sorrow.  Good.  Bad.  I said "I do" to all of it.  All of it.      

I was still feeling a little anxious as I walked out the front lobby to my waiting "Mr."  He was leaning against my passenger door with a big grin on his face.  

"Ready?" he snuck a quick kiss before he opened my door.

I took a deep breath.  I smiled back at him.  Yes.  I answered.  Yes I am.  

Seven years later, I've realized there is waaaaaay more involved in married life than what those quick exchange of traditional vows take you through.  Sickness?  Sorrow?  Poor?  Sure.  Health?  Good?  Joy?  Absolutely.  But if I were to write our vows over again, I would include things like:

dirty clothes on the floor and in the hamper  

NBA Playoffs and So You Think You Can Dance.

heated arguments and equally heated making up

hot dog dinners and vegetable lasagna  

job changes and a few more job changes

mood swings and thinning hair 

dirty dishes and not having to do dishes for a week

shopping sprees and 'don't use the card until Friday' 

no children and more children than you think you deserve

trips to Hawaii and trips to the gas station (being equally excited about both at different stages in your life)

brief moments of wondering what the #!%* were you thinking when you agreed to get married and enduring years of not even wanting to imagine what you're life would be like without each other.

It's been a really great seven years.

We enjoyed a lovely anniversary together.  Most of it was spent with the 3 (and 3/4) little munchkins we created together.  I try not to over romanticize our life.  It is not perfect.  But how can I be anything but grateful when I have these faces calling me wife and mom?  

{A few snapshots from our day.  At the playground, splash park, and finding bugs in the backyard.  Fun day.}  

  

       

Thankful - Oct. 3, 2010

I'm thankful I'm in shape.

I need to clarify that. But first.

My last post? It probably sounded like I'm a patience expert. I'm not. I shouldn't have called the post "Lesson Learned." Dumb. What I should have called it is "I'm Learning This Lesson." That would be a more accurate statement as to what is happening in my life right now.

Now back to what kind of shape I'm in.

I'm thankful I'm in good enough shape to wrestle three 15 lb baby alligators. At least twice a day. I'm thinking of selling tickets to our daily tug-of-wars when we get dressed or undress or change a diaper. Changing diapers! We almost always wrestle then. Raise your hand if you have ever wiped a bare bum while it somehow managed to get itself IN THE AIR, backward! So if I were to average out how often we wrestle? Three babies, approx. 6-8 diapers a day depending on the day, three bath times, three changes out of pajamas for the day... 30 times?!? That can't be right. It's a lot. Trust me on that. I'm thinking the bigger they get, the more my stamina will increase and adjust. Right? Isn't that how it works? Right? Anyone?

I'm thankful for my family and making 48 jars of peach jam. Even if some members of said family barely did ANYTHING to warrant taking home any peach jam. Except watch some lady's triplets and her own kids and clean up after our peach jam mess and the delicious lunch we had and breakfast and help lady wrestle triplet gators. Sheesh.

I'm thankful for fall. Love love love this season. I felt like I was in some artsy Sundance movie driving down Provo Canyon today. The wind was whipping up yellow and red and orange leaves into a frenzy as we drove through them. So beautiful.

I'm thankful for time tested, deep friendships.

I'm thankful for prayer. I'm thankful for prayers in my behalf.

I'm thankful for a dish-doing husband who is no stranger to stinky diapers and has never tried to hand off a screaming child. It does not hurt that he is s to the exy either.

I'm thankful that someday I will not mention or have the term "stinky diapers" in my posts or writing. I really can't help it. I'm sorry. I realize there is a delete button, but really. It is what is going on right now.

I'm thankful for General Conference. I'm thankful for the reminder that I can be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, neighbor, member of my community and just better person in general. I need this reminder.

I'm thankful for worldwide sisterhood. Same religion or not. Married or not. Kids or not. We need each other. I'm thankful that somehow, we all know this.



I'm thankful for this crew of people. They are my life and my reason. My joy. My grateful heart has grown at least 10 times it's original size since all four of these souls were introduced to my life. So so grateful.

Find Out Anniversary

(Umm, this post is quite long. But there are pictures! And a cookie waiting for you at the end.)

One can't help but chalk up dates, milestones, anniversaries in the process of conceiving, bearing, praying over and loving triplets.

We have their birthday (of course), the day the ventilator was no more, the first day of milk fed nutrition, homecoming day, tell our friends and family day, share it on my blog day, and the day, THE DAY, when we found out our lives we're about to be changed in triplicate.

The day we found out there were three tiny sacks housing three tiny heartbeats inside me was quite significant. I can't say I was jaw dropping shocked. It sounds strange, but in some way I was kind of prepared for what the sonographer found. It's really not something I was expecting. Of course I was surprised! But there were a lot of little things that happened the past four years that kind of prepped me for this potentially heart stopping news.

I know it would be classic and sentimental to remember my exact emotions and how I felt and how I looked at Chris, but I was just, well, thankful.

I was thankful that four weeks after we first found out the IUI worked, there was still a life inside me. Then to find out there were three - gratitude beyond measure. Of course I was worried and anxious and wondered how we were going to manage. But at that moment, when we knew, my heart just felt joy.

The two doctors that helped us conceive were really quite wonderful. We felt they were thorough and competent, had been helping families realize their dreams for twenty years and even sometimes had a sense of humor. However, when one of them called to go over the details of what it meant to be having triplets, he was quite humorless and I dare say a little joyless.

The day he called, my husband and I had talked about everything you can imagine two people in love who just found out they were having three babies at once were can talk about. The nagging anxiety was there (still is, I've learned to live with it) but our conversations and day had been filled with light hearted musings and plans and aspirations of coaching a four year old soccer team. Then the doctor called.

It was a year ago, so I don't recall our conversation word for word. So I'll sum it up in bullets.

• You could lose one or all of your embryos. (We had been calling them babies.)
• One or all could be severely handicapped or have a birth defect.
• One could be in danger because of competition for nutrients.
• One or all could die in childbirth.
• The cost of three babies is alarmingly high.
• One or all could be in the NICU for a while.
• This pregnancy will be extremely hard on your body.
• You could be on bed rest the entire time.
• Raising kids until age 2 is extremely taxing, you will have three of them.
• I don't consider this a successful pregnancy. (That one hurt.)
• You are at a higher risk for developing preeclampsia and other potentially life threatening conditions related to this pregnancy.
• You are a higher risk for premature births.
• Have you ever heard of selective reduction?

Let me first say that I knew he was doing his job. Doctors are supposed to be upfront and honest and realistic. I know he wasn't calling to dish on the latest organic baby clothes, hottest new stroller or suggest baby names like Aden, Braden and Caden. So in that respect, I knew where he was coming from.

However! And I mean HOWEVER!

He didn't know.

He didn't know we had been praying almost everyday for 4 years for a family. And when that prayer was hard to utter again, we prayed for understanding. When we couldn't understand, we prayed for patience. (Warning, be extremely careful when praying for patience.) When we grew inpatient of praying for patience (yes, I know) we prayed that we would enjoy our time together without thinking about what we don't have. I think our hearts were a little prepped. But he didn't know that.

Exactly 33 minutes before everyone was born. This was about hour twenty-one of labor.

This picture was Chris' idea. He loved seeing three bands on each of us. I had not seen the kids yet at this point. He had seen them briefly in the operating room before they were whisked through the NICU window.

He didn't know we had a small army that we called our family that were going to support us. The word 'support' is weak sauce compared to what we have. If support were a landscape, we have the ocean, the Sahara, the Andes Mountains and the Grand Canyon. Every ocean and sea. Even the ones that are dead.

He didn't know that we put the Lord in charge of our lives a long time ago and whatever happened to our family was because He is our master architect. Maybe I would lose one or all. Maybe I would be on bed rest the whole time. Maybe birthing three babies wouldn't go well. But it was okay. It wasn't ours to plan.

He didn't know the millions of prayers that were sent to heaven in our behalf. He didn't know people who had never met me or my husband would pray for us and send good thoughts our way.

He didn't know I had people in my life that would sacrifice time away from their own families and lives to help keep mine together when things were unbearable. He didn't know that I would still find it hard and emotional to put into words what others did for me when things were at their worst.

He didn't know I would end up with the most amazing and caring doctor in the state of Utah who specializes in multiples. That he made sure he was there to deliver our three little miracles and made sure I was okay weeks and weeks after they were born. Who called me at his son's wrestling match because he thought he recognized my own wrestler brother from our conversations. Doctors like Dr. Draper are one of a kind. I'll always be grateful for his kind ways and happy heart.

He didn't know that we would end up in one of the most compassionate and caring NICU units in the world! He didn't know about the nurses who loved my children and did things for them I couldn't. Even some nurses that for some reason or another could not have their own babies. But they loved my three without guile or jealousy. He didn't know about the staff of occupational therapists who despite having many, many babies to help, made me feel like mine were the only ones on their schedule. He didn't know the friendships and bonds I would form with other mothers who had babies tinier and sicker than mine. Friendships formed in the midst of shared chaos and heartbreak are special. He didn't know that would happen.

Christian on day two of life. He still love to sprawl and lounge. I think he is the one who led the charge out of the cramped living quarters inside my body.

Our little Gabe 12 hours after he was born. He was on the vent in this picture. He would go back and forth between the vent and CPAP until he was about 31 1/2 weeks gestation.

Seeing my daughter Sunny for the first time. It would be close to a month before I would be able to hold her. She is on CPAP in this picture but would be on the ventilator shortly after this for a while.

He didn't know that when my heart was heavy and I couldn't find the strength or words to pray that my 2 pound babies would make it through pneumonia and a chest tube and machines to help them breath and stay alive that I would feel the prayers of those that could find the words. That my strength would come from their kind thoughts, words of hope, visits, homemade baby blankets, a clean house, shared tears, meals, little texts, a quiet vigil over my wordless fear, and love. He didn't know the power of all that love.

Getting stronger! I never knew I would love the term "room air" so much.

We both loved our cuddle time together. Even if I was in a hospital gown and she was attached to monitors.

He also didn't know that my hope was greater than my doubt. Because I learned that when you doubt, there is no room for hope. Hope was a lesson that I learned along the way of not knowing why a baby could not survive in my womb for longer than 6 weeks.

But they did survive. Chest tubes and monitors, blood transfusions a giant belly, swollen ankles, sighs accompanied with bad news from NNPs are all in the distant past.

On our one year anniversary of 'finding out' three are on the way, we are still full of joy. We have chubby babies. (Okay, chubby baby. The other two in my opinion are still on the thin side.) We have babies that laugh and cry. We have babies that roll over and grab toys. We have a happy family.

What? I needed a machine to help me breath? Really?

I had an IV in my head? No way!

I weighed how much when I was born? I don't believe it! Have you seen my cheeks?

Yes, raising three children the same age is hard. I am tired a lot. But I asked for this! (Well, I didn't order three, let's be clear. You can't do that, despite what you might hear.) I asked for a family. However that family was going to come to us, it didn't matter. So the permanent wet spot on my shoulder from drool or spit up or snot makes me smile. The constant cacophony of cries at the end of the day is like a symphony. Changing nine stinky diapers in one day is cake. (I bet there are some moms who do that anyway! Without multiples.)

So I forgave him of our conversation before it was even over! Because he didn't know. He just didn't know.

Okay, three little cookies. Thanks for caring about our family.

How We Celebrated Pioneer Day (Hooray!)

Hooray for the 24th of July!

We celebrated this lovely Utah holiday in the following ways:

Ran a 5k with my smoking fast sister.

Ate a pancake breakfast with above mentioned sister after above mentioned race in the darling town of Charleston.

Fed babies with husband after he decided to take the day off. (Hooray!)

Took babies out in public while husband and I ate burgers at the Train Place. (Not the real name, but I'm pretty sure that's what us locals call it.)

Smiled at strangers and thanked them for their compliments of above mentioned babies.

Tried not to be rude when I gently removed stranger sticky toddler finger from hand of one of our babies. (He was cute! I just didn't want his ketchup and melted ice cream on my baby's fingers.)

Scoffed at husband for his large sugary drink choice at Maverick Gas Station. (Mountain Dew. Puuuuke.)

Became aware of the glass house I constantly reside in as I downed my frozen yogurt cone AND large sugary drink of another variety.

Drove up giant hill I ran last year.

Fed babies. Bathed little darlings. Read Goodnight Moon three times. Sang three bedtime songs. Said three short thankful prayers for having such a great day. Kissed three foreheads. Sighed three times.

Sent husband to Subway for dinner.

Talked to husband on phone for contingency plan after learning Subway was closed.

Planned for Chinese dinner.

Closed.

Remembered the trade off of living in a small town and had a thought that lack of planning and groceries with the combination of living in a small town will make me chubby.

Kentucky Fried Chicken, we do chicken....late!

The pioneers ate fried chicken, right?

What I Should Have Said

What I should of said, weeks ago was,

Taking a little break from blogging!

But I didn't. We've had a fun summer so far. Cousins. Family reunions. Farmer's Market with no actual farmers. Walks. Cooing. Bottles. Grandmas. Grandpas. Aunts. Uncles. Bedtimes. Smiling. Playing. Kicking. Trying out the Bumbo seat. Brown Bear, Brown Bear. Doctor visits. Nurse visits. OT visits. Blessings. Family. Love.


It's a crazy, life. We all love it.

Family Pictures

This is my first offical blog post as Dad. I just want to publicly thank my wife for being such an amazing mother. She has spend countless hours pumping her heart out, spending time at the hospital, and caring for our babies. I love her and I love our babies so much!

So, What Have You Been Up To?

As mentioned in a previous post, we're living in the mountains right now. What I didn't make clear is where I am living. I'm back home. My hubby and I are mooching it up right now at ma and pa's. Since our return home from working in Connecticut, we've been on the look out and searching for a home to call our own. A home to raise a family in. A family of five! So, graciously and without guile, my parents said, "stay as long as you need to."

As generous as that offer is, we do feel a sense of urgency to get settled. (It's kind of hard to nest in a home that isn't yours, ya know?) So, we look and apply and make offers. It's a process. The good news, we aren't the only ones calling the Oakley homestead 'home.' My sister and her family are here too! Her family too is in a transition period and are patiently waiting for their new home to be built. Gainful employment is the reason we are both living back home a short while, not the other way around. Just in case anyone was worried.

It's been fun to be home. Especially with my sister and her kids. We even had an extra border here from California for two weeks! Yet another sister and her darling toddler. It was like the old days where multiple families and generations living together was the norm. It was a blast. We even canned peaches like they did in the old days - back in 1982. (Joking. We just aren't a canning family, so it was kind of a big deal.)

The nature of our life circumstances lately find me at home. No job, just home. It's a good thing actually. Because sometimes I wake up at 8:30 and am ready for a nap at 10:00 am. Just like my 18 month old niece. The only difference is I don't cry right before I lay down. (Much.) But I have been busy. You wouldn't believe all the things there is to do in a day in house full of little ones. My 4 year old nephew is busy all day long and sometimes I am lucky enough to be included in his to do list.

Like the other day there were a million clones in the the house. A million! Armed with light sabers and jacks, we got rid of a lot of them. Then there is Clifford alphabet bingo, Monopoly, (You think Monopoly is long with regular rules? Try playing by a 4 year old's rules!) and of course the occasional movie for quiet time. (My favorite.)

And while my sister is doing my dishes and changing the laundry for me, I try to be useful and make sure her little one isn't eating soap or trying to jump off the table. Most times she is in the pantry. In fact, when her little cousin from California was here, (they are the same age) that is where they spent most of their time. Pulling out cereal boxes and fruit snacks. Sometimes they would bring something to you if they really wanted it but couldn't quite figure out how to get the food out. But most times, it was a free for all of little toddler hands taking turns dipping into the cereal.

Watching those two together, I couldn't help but think, HOW AM I GOING TO KEEP UP WITH THREE?!? And these two are totally normal toddlers. Busy, crazy, happy, grumpy, going from morning til nap til dinner til night. Phew. But keep up I will. I have a little while before that stage. It's just one step at a time. And right now, the step is celebrating a successful first trimester and countdown to week 19 when we will find out what is cooking in there. 3 boys? (Yikes.) 3 girls? (Yikes.) Combo? (Okay, yikes, yikes.)

My 'yikes' are tongue in cheek of course. 'Yikes' is a general way to describe most days when I think of my expectations I have for myself as a mother of three at once. But, again, there is peace. So, I can't say 'yikes' too much. So bring on week 15. Bring on pantry raids. Bring on morning naps and clones and dear, dear sisters who take care of you (even though one of them is 8 months pregnant herself - love you Meg!).

It really is a charmed life.

Fine Times, Good Times, Fun Times, Times Square...

Such a lucky girl I am to have such fun sisters.  Seriously.  If you don't have a sister - go find one.  I could see if one of mine would be in your area to loan out for the day.  I promise you won't be disappointed.  Mine are just too great.  My youngest sister, the baby, the bambino girlie of our family came to the great NE. (Northeast, that is.)  She came for one last hurrah and "just us girls" inspired activities before she went off to college.  

Ok - quick digression... College?  Seriously Jenna?!  When did that happen?  Remember the year we moved to the mountains? (Probably not, you were 2!)  It had snowed so much that winter that our walkway was piled with enormous mounds of snow.  I still see your little two year old body, dwarfed by the snow stack, walking up and down that walk while you "helped" moved things in.  Your dolly.  Your blanket.  A random bowl mom would find for you.  Now you're going to a big university?  Where there will be boys (they better keep their distance those no good, lousy...oops, sorry --did I type that outloud?)and professors and dorms and no curfew and your old enough to do that legally?  Without written consent from mom?  What?  My little Jennaben.  It would be cliche and appropriate to say that it makes me feel old that you are off to your next big adventure.  But I won't say that.  I'm thrilled for you.  My excitement far exceeds the weight of the years it should put on my shoulders.   Anyway, back to your visit...

Newport - always amazing.  Even more super spectacular when we went together.  Eating chowdah and clam cakes and stuffies (I HEART stuffies) at Flo's with an ocean view off the balcony?  Pure clam shack heaven.  The beach?  Your sand mermaid was absolutely inspiring.  Even with her smooshed head that kind of sunk into the sand like she was lying on a really bad pillow.  Still awesome. (Sorry no pics of that.  Trust me, it was sweet.)  Thanks for making me feel like your old sister still has a little something something.  I don't think the guys in the tiny sports car would have said "hi ladies" in their 'we are the coolest dudes you will ever meet in Rhode Island - nay the world' tone if it were just me.  And maybe someday, on your way to become a marine biologist (after your whale riding course) you can write a research paper on why seagulls are so smart and people that leave their food out in the open and their towels unattended are so not smart.  Oh!  And our beach picnic!  Who knew a styrofoam cooler could carry so much joy and delicious treasures!  

How cool was the Rosecliff Mansion?  I loved that you felt the Great Gatsby's presence even before you knew it was filmed there.  Loved it.  We should've taken a real spin around that ballroom.  What's the worse they would've done?  Asked us to stop?  Next time.  In honor of all the horrific 70's socialite dresses that were on display upstairs, you can pretend this photo is from that era.  Even though 98% of those dresses made me throw up in my mouth a little, I think you would've looked quite stunning in six of them.  Yes, six.  The rest, blah!  That was a bad era for socialites.  I'll be continuing my daydreams on the lawn of the turn of the century Vanderbilt's summer home, thank you.   

New York! Broadway! Times Sqaure! The subway! Battery Park! Central Park! Manhattan Temple! Tolls! Traffic! Hot dog carts! Pretzel carts! In The Heights! Canal street! Crazy people! Illegal handbag selling! Disgusting parking garage bathrooms! That was one amazing day, wasn't it? Hot time in the big city.  I feel like we could have done 96 thousand more things! 

So, thank you!  Thank you for always having a good time no matter what we are doing.  Thanks for your adventurous spirit.  (So proud of you trying all the New England fare!  Loster, New England chowdah...)  I really am proud of the amazing young woman you have grown up to be.  I hope you'll forgive your overly sentimental sister and her "remember when" speeches every time you hit a major (or minor) milestone.  I truly am inspired by your integrity, grace, virtue, sense of adventure and gentle, happy spirit you bring with you everywhere you go.   

So go do your conquering and exploring and don't be afraid to put yourself out there.  In the spirit of broadway, remember, "those who don't try, never look foolish!"

(You and I both know it's the "foolish" looking ones who are having all the fun and adventures!)

(And keep not letting the boys kiss you!)

Worth a Thousand Words

I've been missing my ability to post pictures this summer.  I've been taking them.  But somehow, I ended up with a computer that does not want to cooperate with pictures.  If I was a super smart computer genius, I'm sure I would've figured something out.  But it turns out that I'm a little lazy when it comes to figuring out technical difficulties.  

When I get back to a picture friendly computer, I think I'll post just a bunch of random pictures that I have on there since JANUARY!  In the meantime, how about a recap of some goings on?  These aren't necessarily in chronological order.

1 - Imagine several pictures of some of the cutest kids you've seen in your life.  All siblings and cousins.  Two brothers with glasses and sometimes a look of sweetness - but most of the time, it seems they have something up their sleeve!  A little one year old girl (adorable of course) who has no problem keeping up with her big brothers.  And another little one year old with curly, blond locks.  He is the spitting image of his mom when she was his age.  Except he is SOLID.  I'm talking if you don't get out of his way when he is headed toward something, he could plow you over.  He has an amazing smile and SO much energy.  I hung out with this crew and their amazing parents for a law school graduation.  

2 - The beach!  Now we are at the beach.  Fun friends.  Fun family.  Nice day.  Wiffle ball game that lasted FOR - E - VER.  More days at the beach...

3 - Lobster Fest 09 at Grandpa Ray's.  Lots of lobster, lots of clams, lots of Portuguese sausage.  Lots of loud, fun family.  Lots of picture by Grandma Linda!  I think Chris' final lobster count was three.  I was a lightweight and only had one.  I loved watching the butter drip down his chin.  He was in lobster heaven.

4- Running.  And running.  And running.  Running for 33 hours straight.  Sometimes I was running.  Sometimes I was cheering on other runners.  And once, for two hours during those 33 hours, I was asleep.  Someday, I'm going to write in more detail about this race.  It has, so far, been one of the most amazing, physical accomplishments I've ever done.  Hugs and tears and lots of body glide jokes.  

5- Hanging with the fam in Utah.   Sunday comics, Sunday naps.  Giving Mindy a hard time about the Bacherolette.  Watching Michael be patient while said tv show was being watched.  Listening to McKay talk about EFY.  Jenna rocking the candy machine route with me. (I still can't believe you'd never been to Quiznos crazy girl!) Mom and Dad and their busy, busy lives!  

6- Walking with Chris in downtown Newport.  Stopping for ice cream and talking about the boat we are going to own one day.  The sweet new Red Sox hat he bought for me.

7- Red Sox - Yankees game!!  In Yankee stadium.  Being heckled by Yankees fans.  Martinez hitting a home run to bring the Sox up one.  Then, watching in dismay as Damon and Teixeira hit back to back home runs.  Disappointing.  But kind of fun to watch the stadium GO CRAZY.  I also snacked on a hot dog.  Ball park dogs.  Can't beat em.  Walking to the train amidst frenzied Yankees fans shouting, "SWEEP! SWEEP! SWEEP!"  Or "BOSTON SU-UCKS! BOSTON SU-UCKS!"  Don't worry, I rocked my pink, Pedroia jersey with pride.  Made a lot of instant friends in the form of other Boston fans.  Instant camaraderie among the rabid Yanks.  

8- Portland wedding.  Beautiful bride.  Doting groom.  Wedding guests crunching on ice during the 95 degree ceremony.

9- Oregon coast with fun Karen and her beautiful little girl. (Haylee, you made me so happy saying my name the whole time I was there!) Tillamook cheese factory.  Cheese samples. Can you say black pepper white cheddar? Or how about horseradish cheese?  Wow.  Blog stalking.  I feel like less of a weirdo when I do it with someone else.  Which reminds me, if you have a blog tracker - you should lose it.  It makes blog stalking very inconvenient! 

10- Boston Temple with hubby.  So beautiful.  I love to see the temple.  I love to go with Chris.  I can't think of when I'm happier than when we are there together.      

Hmmm, so not as great as looking at pictures of these events, but your imagination is probably so much better.

Karats or Carrots

When I was visiting my sister in Omaha a few weeks ago, I lost an earring. Whenever I go someplace more than overnight, I always take these particular earrings with me. They were a gift given to me by my boyfriend almost 6 years ago. It was our first Christmas together. He chose to give me this gift 3 days before Christmas was even here! (I would later learn that he can't stand waiting for fun surprises - he always breaks early!) The excitement and apprehension in his beautiful, sparkling eyes is still so vivid and clear in my mind.

"I've never given a girl a gift like this before." He handed me the little black box. (For two seconds I thought he was proposing! But then I realized we were standing near a pile of his dirty clothes and knew he was a little more classy than that.)

I opened the box and saw two small, sparkly, gorgeous diamond earrings. I didn't think I was a diamond kind of girl. But his eyes, the apprehension on his face, his slight intake of breath to gauge my reaction turned me into his diamond girl.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't the diamonds, it was him. He was thoughtful and deliberate and wanted to show me he loved me. I loved him too. If I had opened up that box and found a piece of tin, I would've have cherished that piece of tin just as much as I did those earrings.

As you may have guessed or surmised, I married this boy. Again, not because of the earrings. (This is a hard story to tell without coming across as materialistic!) It was a million other gestures, phrases, words, kisses, promises, laughs, cuddles and dreams that sealed the deal. But those earrings would be forever special to me and I liked to wear them when I went on trips without him. I felt like I was bringing part of him with me.

But, when I arrived at my sister's house after a long plane ride, I realized I was sans one earring. As soon as I realized, I was on my knees in her basement where I had put my bags down, running my fingers through the carpet, hoping to feel the lost earring. I was extra sensitive to my sense of touch, because I couldn't see very well through my blurry eyes. As more and more tears welled, I thought of all the places I had been that day. Did I mention I flew in? Hartford airport, Northwest plane, Minneapolis airport, another Northwest plane, Omaha airport, sister's car, park near her house... I knew it was a futile effort to keep looking. It could have been anywhere. My tears then turned into gentle, whimpering sobs.

I had the greatest helpers however. Within a minute of my announcement through a choked up voice, the troops were mobilized. Nephews, 4 and 6 were told what to look for and were on all fours in the living room and staircase. Brother-in-law (also just flew in with other sister) was on the computer looking up lost and found phone numbers for the airline I was on that day. One sister wrangling the one year old cousins while the other helps me re-trace my steps and thoroughly searches her car.

It was a mini brigade. The recruited troops seemed a little more hopeful than I was. Especially my naturally optimistic nephews. While I was doing a second hand sweep of the carpet near my bags, my six year old nephew announces in a very serious voice:

"Guys! Guys! Listen, I know what we can do! Everyone eat carrots, because they help your eyesight, and we'll be able to see Aunt Kara's earring better!"

A smile spontaneously appeared and a few tears dried after that one. Then, when the search moved to the small playground just outside my sister's back door, my four year old nephew came and put his hand on my shoulder. He was holding something in his fingers. His voice was gentle and soft. I was still sniveling and sniffing, 10 minutes into the search.

"Kara, this is small and white and round like your earring. Maybe you could have this instead?"

I hugged him and told him it was a beautiful rock and I would keep it in my pocket in case I couldn't find my earring. He smiled, very pleased with himself for helping. It was getting harder to keep the water works up. Especially after that most sincere offering.

I thanked everyone for helping me look and called off the search. I knew it was gone. I just knew it. I called Chris later that night and told him I had lost one of my earrings. Anyone who knows me will not be surprised to know that I started crying...again. I told him I was really sorry and I should have left them at home and I was going to call the airlines to see if anyone had turned in earring that looked like mine....

He interrupted my blubbering and told me it was okay. They were just earrings. I tried to explain why I was so heartbroken. He said he loved me. He was touched that I cared so much about them. But, after all, they were just earrings.

I told him about our brigade of soldiers on a mission to help me find it. The carrots, the tiny rock, the computer programmer conducting a google search. We laughed together. I felt better. No longer a lump in my throat when I thought of what I had lost that day.

Because, after all, it was just an earring.

Happy Birthday Ricardo (2 days late)

I went to high school with Rich. We graduated together. So, there was a time when he was getting ready to marry my older sister, I kept thinking....really? They are getting married? But that didn't last very long. Now I can't imagine what our brood would be like without him. He's such a great provider. He takes good care of my sister. He's an amazing father. I've been lucky to spend lots of time with their fam and see up close how much his kids adore their father.

Not only did he celebrate a birthday (one more year of being in your twenties buddy, live it up), but he also graduated from law school this year! Somehow he managed to graduate, work during the summer (and part of the school year this past year), have a very demanding church responsibility, dote on his wife and have three amazing kids.

Thanks for taking such good care of my sister. Thanks for making me feel so loved and welcome in your home whenever I come visit. Thanks for continuing to quote movie lines with me. Thanks for being silly with your kids so I'm not the crazy aunt.

Happy Birthday Rich!

PS - This picture was taken at their oldest son's kindergarten graduation. I'm pretty sure he was playing hooky from a very important bar review class so he could be there. :)

Milt

My Grandpa D turned 95 yesterday. I still remember 15 years ago when we were celebrating his 80th birthday. It was a big deal. Cultural hall reserved and full for the afternoon. Old photos of Milt in his cowboy boots, army uniform, wedding suit. Long line of well-wishers. My Grandma Norma standing by his side in her best pearls and matching clip on earrings. Grandpa has outlived her by 13 years so far. I miss her.

I called yesterday to wish him happy birthday. Aunt Sue answered, we caught up. Where are you guys living now? How was the wedding? That's nice. That's nice. I hear grandpa being directed into his office where he can take my call. Aunt Sue reminds me to speak up.

"Well hullo?"
Hi Grandpa! Happy Birthday!
"Hullo? Is someone there?"
HI GRANDPA! THIS IS KARA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
"Who's this?"
IT'S KARA! (I'm hoping he remembers which one I am.)
"Oh! Well...Kara. Jim's daughter! (whew) Well, where are you living now?"
CONNECTICUT!
"Oh, Connecticut! Are you working out there? Did you finish school?"
YES GRANDPA WE ARE WORKING OUT HERE I DID FINISH SCHOOL!
"Well, are you married?"
(Brief flashback of grandpa dancing with me on my wedding day.)
YES GRANDPA, I'M MARRIED!
"Oh, well, any kids?"
NO, NOT YET. HOW IS YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY GOING?
"Well, I'm turning 95 today, and I guessed everyone remembered. It's nice to be remembered on your birthday. Now, where are you living?"
CONNECTICUT GRANDPA!
"Are you married?"
YES GRANDPA! I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOUR YEARS!
"Well, is your husband going to school?"
NOT RIGHT NOW, HE IS WORKING!
"Now, remind me who this is so I know who I am talking to for sure."
THIS IS KARA!
"Oh, that's right. Now, are you married? Are you going to school?"
NO, I FINISHED SCHOOL GRANDPA. BUT I LOVE YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
"Well, there are a bunch of your relatives over here today because it's my birthday. Now where are you living..."



Oh Grandpa. I love you.

95 years old and still as active as ever. There are many, many life lessons I have taken and am still taking from your life. Productive, fulfilled, seizing every opportunity and recording every moment. (Can't wait to get a peak at ALL those journals some day.)

Happy Birthday Grandpa D!

64 Ouncer

Have you ever seen one of those gigantic mugs at a gas station? At some point, someone decided that 32 ounces of soda was not enough for one day, or one afternoon, or one lunchtime. They needed more. Hence the small bucket for your liquid guzzlement. (Another word I invented. Just give it time..)

I have been thinking a lot about my family lately. You know the phrase that talks about your cup running over with bounteous blessings? That is why the image of the 64 ounce giant mug came into my mind.

My cup is not only running over, it was already HUGE to begin with!

I am so blessed. Just a few random family blessings I'm throwing out there...

My sister Jenna. She's amazing. I love her and miss her. She is the most amazing, super tremendous high school senior I've ever known. She's loyal to her friends, she bakes Amish bread, (I called it 'chain bread.') and still helps my mom with the dishes despite her dizzying schedule. She is compassionate, kind and very smart. She is bound for the stars.

The first Sunday of the month. I have not room enough to receive all the love that floods my heart sometimes.

Brooke and Dave are out here in the CT making this journey with us. It's nice to have family so close. And my greedy, aunt self gets to see their kids all the time.

My prego sister! My heart swells as big as her belly will. So happy for her.

Reasons for me to see my sisters that live across the country. (Thanks for finishing law school Rich so we have an excuse to see each other in May!)

I am going to stop before this goes on and on and on. I do believe that I would get cramps in my knuckles from typing before I was able to list all of the blessings in my life. And that's just in the "family" category.

Wait, can I add one more? Conference Sunday in Oakley with the fam. Staying in your pajamas ALL day. Hot breakfast courtesy of ma and pa. Spare mattress dragged up from the basement. Lots of blankets. The occasional steam roller during the rest hymn. (Hee hee.) And a sister who was smart enough to document it all so we would always remember!

I understand this is a strange picture to post. I have beautiful, professionally done portraits of my family. I love these pictures. However, I do believe it's snapshots like this one that remind me why being together forever with my family is so appealing.

Hence, I'll keep working and try a little harder to be a little better.

Happy (late) Birthday Mindy!!

My apologies for being late. The most cherished sister-in-law in my life whose last name starts with "D" celebrated a birthday on the 30th.

Mindy is amazing. I'm sure she is tired of me saying this, but she has brought buckets and buckets of joy to our family. The exponential smiles that have occurred in my little brother's life when she married him is enough to put her in the DeGering hall of fame. But that's not all. She has been a big sister to the younger DeG's still at home. Jenna and McKay adore Mindy. I'm pretty sure she has been J's shoulder to cry on, wine on, spill guts on more than her far away sisters were able to. I love her for that. My parents think she's the greatest thing since Michael's high school glory wrestling days. She simply belonged to our family instantaneously without missing a beat.

She has gorgeous hair. (Seriously. I'm never letting her forget it. Bee-ee-a-utiful.)

She is hilarious. If you haven't read her blog, you are missing out. Her wit, charm and humor delight me post after post. She is full of life. She loves without reservation. She's an amazing aunt. I've seen her with all her nieces and nephews and took a few notes on how to be an amazing aunt. She is smart with an official degree as of Friday proving it. She loves teaching.

She is does not hold back who she is. I love her for that. I've never found out who the "real" Mindy is after I've gotten to know her. She has always been herself with me from day one. I love her for that. So hap, hap, happy birthday Mindy. You're one in a million and so blessed I get to have you in my life forever!

Happy Birthday Mom

Lists and reasons why it's great to be celebrating my mother:

Things my mom has given me:
1. Life
2. Lovely Bohne Bum
3. A love for writing.
4. Confidence and independence to be myself.
5. Strength, help and support whenever I need it.

Things my mom has taught me:
6. Never judge anyone based on outward qualities.
7. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness.
8. Heavenly Father loves you.
9. Heavenly Father loves you no matter what mistakes you make.
10. It's okay to fail, as long as you are trying your very best.
11. Saying "shut up" to your siblings is not okay.
12. Red pepper is an effective consequence for little kids who tell their sisters to "shut up."
13. You don't have to dress and act like everyone else - be yourself.
14. Say no to drugs.
15. Be dependable.
16. Be honest.
17. Forgiving others is more important than waiting for them to apologize.
18. How to weed a flower garden.
19. How to company clean a bathroom.
20. How to make dozens of delicious recipes.
21. How to make bat brains and witch's brew.
22. Green milk on St. Patrick's day is fun.
23. Your birthday is a very, very special day that should be celebrated from the minute you wake up until the very end of the day.
24. It's okay if cereal is on the dinner menu once in a while.
25. We all have unique personality traits.
26. Having a testimony in the Savior Jesus Christ can get you through anything.
27. Did you pray about it?
28. Did you pray about it?
29. Did you pray about it?
30. Being a stay at home mom and raising a large family is awesome.
31. Being a stay at home mom with a college education is awesome.
32. Supporting your husband and his occupation makes for a happy home life.
33. A mother's role is to nurture.
34. You can still be a domestic miracle worker and not sew.
35. How to antique a painted piece of wood.
36. How to sing from your diaphragm.
37. It's never too late to go back to school and have a successful, fulfilling career.
38. Jell-O, popsicles, and sprite are good for what ails ya.
39. Going to church on Sunday is essential for filling your lamp.
40. It's okay to go overboard on the decorations for holidays.
41. You may not always love what someone does, but you can always love the person.
42. Raising teenagers and toddlers at the same time is possible.
43. Labor Day was created so families could labor together in the yard.
44. Apparently Memorial Day was created for the same reason.
45. Sunday is a day of rest.
46. Live the Golden Rule.
47. It's okay to have a sense of humor about yourself.
48. Corn on fire flies very well off back decks.
49. Go for the penguin award.
50. Typical "men chores" sometimes just need to be done, men around or not.
51. Motorcycles are cool - but do not let your children know you think so until they are all practically adults.
52. You can do or be anything you want.
53. Chocolate, candy and goodies are good for broken hearts and hurt feelings.
54. Families are forever and one of the most important thing you can fight for.
55. Confidence in yourself comes from confidence in your core values and beliefs.




My mother is a true angel with the heart of a warrior. She is strong, gentle, compassionate and smart. She has heard me say this often but it is worth repeating on her birthday. Everything that I have in me that is good and wholesome is because of her. Love you mom.

Happy Birthday Brooke!

A little birthday shout out to a stellar sister-in-law. You're an amazing mom, wife and friend! Thanks for always sharing your kids. You make fabulous cheese rolls - love em. You are the most amazing scrapbooker I've ever known, met or will encounter in my entire life. You have good taste. You are an exceptional drawer (one who draws, not something that fits in a bureau) and I don't know why I don't see more of your drawings more often. You have a phenomenal adventurous spirit and am glad I will always someone to ride the big roller coasters with. (Wimpy boys...) I'm lucky to have such a great person to share life and my married name with!

Happy Birthday. Click here to see the cute family of the birthday girl.

My Eternal Family

The 2009 Primary theme is all about families. Teaching kids songs every week that relate to this theme leads me to reflect on my relationship with my own family. A girl couldn't have had more fun growing up with these great dudes.

Barbies, playing cruise ship, pretending Miss Hannigan was going to be home any minute so we better hurry and clean our room, big wheels, banana seat bikes, See Me Run, Go Dog Go, sleeping bags down the stairs, playing school, weeding the garden so we could walk to Trafalga, tether ball, front yard soccer games, badminton, dancing in the kitchen, staged professional wrestling in our living room... We had a lot of fun together.

And still do.
Aren't my sisters beautiful?






I could not have guessed or imagined the extra spouses and kids added to our family over the years would be this wonderful! I can't imagine our family missing just one. Every single person belongs. I'm anxious to see it grow and grow and grow. My heart is overwhelmed and abundantly flows over with joy when I think of the plan of happiness that allows us to be together forever.

(And this is just my side! Lots o love for my married side of the family tambien!)

5000 Miles

Okay, not really. Just 3.1.

It was a way to say good bye to 2008!

The 5K

2008, we thought you were great.
But we wanted to run you out of town.
So we laced up our shoes,
With the sky a frigid blue,
Ran up the road, then back down.

The crowd was real small
We didn't care at all.
A few voices made loud cheer-
Applause for ALL finishers.

The after race raffle was tops.
All glad we came, rather running or sane.
The award for loudest talker
due to headphones...goes to pops!






The last two pictures were directly pirated from Mindy's blog. No shame. Min, please don't sue me for copyright infringement. (Besides, I know a 3rd year law student...so watch out!)

All in all, this was a super fun family outing on 12/31/08. Tradition anyone?

fyi - the poem was done in like 5 minutes, so no critical analysis!

It's Been a While

I have been busy. Family, Christmas, nephews, sisters, New Year's, company, nieces, a 5k, Office marathons, ballin' in the elementary school, lots of fun family stuff. Whew. I'm hoping to get more creative posts in with pics of the last two weeks. For now, here is an update on the makeover. This is the finished product of the fireplace. It was still warm and wonderful to sit by this Christmas.

Extreme Makeover - Oakely Edition

In true tradition, my parents decided to remodel, re-paint, re-carpet, weeks before a major family gathering. They're busy too. My mom works, my dad works. My brother and sister at home are busy with school, sports, stuff. It was a big project. There was a lot to do. And I was happy to help. Toasted oat, arabian sands and cherry cobbler red was the color scheme. That's toasted oat mixed with pastel base, not medium. Very important. Otherwise you might find yourself repainting over 3 hours worth of work. By the way, thanks for the free paint Home Depot. That alleviated the pain-slightly. (The pics were taken on my phone, sorry they aren't that great.)

You can't tell in the picture but this ladder was high. The peak of the ceiling was about 16 feet. I wasn't thrilled to be up there. My dad made some comment about "being a fireman's daughter" and questioning that fact. Whew! I hope my mom really likes this color for years to come!


I'm excited to post the after picture. This fireplace used to be black and white tile with a white mantle. The carpet in the picture is being replaced. I wondered how many jokes I could handle about not dripping paint on the carpet that was about to be ripped up. It never got old.

This is what I woke up to on day two of painting. Nothing like a fresh fall of snow in Oakley. It's beautiful.