I'll Show YOU Breaking Dawn

Okay, I understand most of the civilized world (who is the UNcivilized world anyway?) have already read this book and have given their opinion on it. But I felt I needed to share and publish my own meaningless thoughts on the subject. Of course I'm talking about the 4th book in the series that turns grown women into crazed Edward-lovers, wishing their husbands suddenly had sharper teeth and teenagers into people that will eventually become disappointed when they realize that there is no such thing as the perfect vampire... or man.


Several people in my life have already heard my opinion on the matter. So forgive me if you've heard this before. I read a comment from a friend on a previous post and it triggered me wanting to get my opinion out there. Published. Official. (I have no adorable pictures of kids or dogs, so opinions are what you get, sorry.)

Disclaimer - I probably will give away plot points. So, if you haven't read the book, keep not reading it. Okay, do what you want, read the book if you want. But stop reading this post if you don't want anything spoiled. Stop reading if you haven't relished every succulent, juicy, heat inducing, seductive word - down to the last stinking paragraph! (Sorry about the cynicism. Also, you may find quite a few apostrophes in this post.)

Okay, everyone warned? Anyone still reading? Enemies made already? Alrighty then!

Here we go:

I was entertained with the story. A human falling in love with a vampire. Throw a sworn enemy in there in the form of a wolf man and you've got some juicy story telling. That's why I made it through the first 3 books. I wasn't what you call a die hard fan since it took me about 10 months to read the last book after it had hit the shelves. Even then, it was reluctance because I knew the thickness. Something in me told me I couldn't handle nearly 700 pages of brooding and passion and danger and blah, blah, blah. So, I finally checked it out from my local library (there was still a waiting list, can you believe it?) and read it. In its entirety.

I am so disappointed in Ms. Meyer. Honestly. I cannot believe Bella got everything she ever wanted! Everything! Coming into this book, there were real and intense conflicts set up. So Bella wants to become a vampire. What about her human family? What were they going to tell them? What about never being able to have kids? What about Jacob? What about being a crazed new born vampire? What about the treaty being broken when the Cullens changed Bella and the wolves had no choice but to hunt and destroy them? So many conflicts! Bella had such a potential for loss! The drama, the emotion, the tapestry of it all!

But did she lose? Did one of those problems actually come to pass? NO! Every single one of them was conveniently solved in very strange, too convenient ways. She gets pregnant? Jacob imprints on her offspring? Her super power is controlling her newborn instincts and making a force field? Charlie just accepts that she is incredibly different bordering on inhuman? What? He's okay with that? He develops a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

There was a chance with this last book to make real and lasting literary heroes. (Okay, maybe that is stretching it.) There was a chance in this last book to make real heroes. There could have been heart wrenching sacrifice. I could have loved the ending but mourned the loss of...SOMEONE! Seriously, I'm not morbid, but someone could have not survived! Isn't that real life? Isn't that what we relate to? Isn't that why we loved the story? Because there was something so human about the Cullens despite their immortality? On some level, as human readers, we could relate to them? However, Bella gets to somehow, with ease, keep every single person she loves in her life. I can't relate to that. In my short 29 years I have experienced loss. I bet I'll experience a lot more. Meanwhile, Bella and her perfect vampire husband with their perfect half-child (don't even get me started on the conveniences of growing old until you're a perfect, ideal age...and it only takes 7 years. Oh bruther!)live in their perfect little cottage with their mounds of money. And Bella didn't have to give up one thing she wanted. Not one.

I know what you're saying. "Oh, well, you're so smart! What don't you think of a better ending!" Okay, just off the top of my head...

What about Jacob realizing how much Bella truly loves Edward and sees that she is truly happy and somehow sacrifices his life to save hers or her daughter's from the Volturi. Or what if Alice left, but never came back because she somehow gave her own life in exchange for the life of little, perfect Renesmee? (I can't wait to look at the 2009 baby name list to see if that one makes it.) I feel like there is a scenario lurking around there that could have happened to make me feel SOMETHING! All I felt at the end was indifference and annoyance.

I feel like the masses were appeased. My guess is the revolt over a dying Jacob would have been greater than the revolt against "happily ever after...ALL OF THEM!" I guess millions were already made. So the idea that this book would sell no matter what explains a lot. It's just so disappointing.

Oh well. I'll leave you with two things that were missing.

1) Singing mice to clean their perfect cottage in the woods. Or seven tiny men working in a gold mine nearby. Take your pick.
2) Willy Wonka flying around in a glass elevator and asking Bella at the end, "You know what happened to the girl who suddenly got everything she ever wanted?"

We know. We know. She lived happily ever after. Ugh.

A Few Things

I have been really enjoying lately...


Kings of Leon. Where have they been all my life? Revelry, Use Somebody, Be Somebody, more - all on repeat on my music player.

Wicked Soundtrack. My little sis went last week and I was pining to go again. No one mourns the wicked!

The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers. Great little book by Laura Hollingsworth. So many good people out there who have lived a good life. I like scanning certain sections of Dewy's decimal system for surprising finds. This was one of them. (Yes, I know my library reference is wrong.)

The Office reruns. I think Andy is my new favorite.

The brilliant, bounteous, green popping blossoms on all of the trees. So many trees! Where do I get all my oxygen from when I live in Utah? Seriously.

Ray Charles. Is it okay for an ultra-uber white girl born in Utah County to like soul/gospel as much as I do? In fact, do yourself a favor and download/listen/youtube yourself some Mavis Staples.

Sting's All This Time live album. Can't get enough. During Roxanne, when he states, "But she did anyway," in his Sting-like, cool, low-down way... man! That gets me every time.

The Grapes of Wrath. Lost track how many times I've read it. So far, being almost three decades old, (me, not the book) this is my all-time favorite book. Steinbeck does no wrong in my eyes. I'm trying to figure out why I'm such a sucker for suffering, heartache and down and outedness. (New word I just made up, don't try to look it up. Not in Webster's yet.) I'm open to new all-time favorites however. Currently, I have two. I have a lot of life left. I'm working on some great recommendations right now. Feel free to leave me yours.

Laughing Out Loud

Why? Why do I literally feel like having a good old chuckle?

I have more to do than time to do it. I have boxes to pack. Bathrooms to clean. Things to wrap up in bubble wrap. Mattresses to wrap up in mattress wrap. Laundry. Random items that are awaiting a decision of "throw away" or "keep." Lots of stuff to do. And yet, these words are proof that at this moment, I am not doing any of those things.

Isn't that hilarious to anyone else? Is it just me?

And speaking of laughing out loud, I think modern communication is ruining the English language. I'm going to be that nerd that fights it. YOU instead of u. ARE instead of r. GREAT instead of gr8. I wake up in a cold sweat sometimes because I think that punctuation might disappear all together because of texting. I wake up pawing at the sheets, "Where is that period? What that a question?!? I'll never know!!" and who capitalizes anymore? is not capitalizing trendy or are our pinky's becoming weaker? All languages evolve. I'm sure there was some 15th century nerd girl that said at one point,

"Me doth protest the increasing manor in which many acquaintances and fine people I know of upstanding reputations and caliber have been replacing the word "ye" with "yoo." It gives me the distinct impression that one is attempting to turn me into a sheep."

Also - in my scenario, I'd like to imagine this 'nerdy' girl was prohibited from learning how to read. You know, 'man smarter than woman,' 'woman make lye soap while smart man drink ale and barter,' mentality of way back then. She is secretly smart. Then one day her father's landlord discovers she can read and punishes her by placing her in the stocks and everyone throws lettuce at her. She takes the humiliation. Doesn't cower. Even when her own father is forced to throw a rotten tomato at his own daughter or else he and his family (six kids, wife died giving birth to the youngest) will be dismissed from their home by the mean landlord. She becomes emboldened and inspired and decides to teach other young girls how to read. "They cannot place every one of us in the stocks!" She becomes a mythical hero and is mentioned one day on 'Reading Rainbow.' YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE MY WORD FOR IT...


What in the world? What was that? What is wrong with me? I'm stepping away from the computer. Back to work. L8r.

In a Box

Going through the basement, I'm trying to decide what to throw away, give away or keep. I found a box of books. Some of my favorites! I can't believe they've been boxed up for over a year.

I met Primus St. John once during college. (With a name like that, you have to become a poet, right?) He came to our class and read from his book Communion. I relish his words. He's an artist. Instantly, he became one of my favorites. Even before he signed my copy with,

To Kara, Many days of writing as fun. Primus St. John

Here is one of his poems.

Sunday

Today,

The sea has it's own religion;
It is blue
As an acori bead
I rubbed in my hand.

I think
Of swimming
for miles
and miles
in prayer.

I think
Of never struggling back
In doubt.

As though
In a world like this
Love starts over and over again.

Recommended Reading

Thanks for recommendation Mom, I loved it. It was a very pleasing way to spend a Sunday afternoon. If you haven't already read this, I am passing along the suggestion! More information on the author's story and reason behind writing the book; click here.