Welcome Home Baby C

Dear Sunshine,

I'm a week late with this letter! Your official Homecoming Day was April 20th. But, as you've gathered, from living in this household over a year, sometimes things don't go as planned. And when I say sometimes, I mean most times. Can you believe you came home two weeks after Gabe and three weeks after Christian? I know you missed them when they left the hospital.

Our first time being next to each other. My first time holding you. You were three weeks old. (About 31 weeks gestation.) I was overcome with emotion. Bless your sweet nurse who was comfortable with getting us set up and situated despite you still being on the vent.

It was a deep ocean of pain and trials leaving you behind twice when one of your brothers came home. We were happy to have them in our own four walls, but our family was not complete without our little Sunshine home and happy. Maybe you wanted to stay a few extra weeks to have the wonderful nursing staff all to yourself. You developed quite a fan base toward the end of your stay. In the final days before you came home, I would come to see you and often you would be in a nurse's lap or an OT would be walking the halls with you. A lot of the staff had grown quite a liking to your bright light and spunky personality.

You were having lunch in this picture! Can you tell? This is the week you decided eating with your mouth was not happening anymore. You had tube feedings until a week after you came home.

I have learned gads of lessons from being a mom so far. But you have taught me one of the most important ones. I really, really wanted you to come home. The biggest thing holding you up was your inability to eat. It wasn't that you weren't physically able to, it's just that you wouldn't. You did at one time have a few milliliters every day or so while your brothers were also learning how to suck, swallow, breath, suck, swallow, breath. Then one day, you just stopped. Who knows why. You either got spooked, or decided you were being pushed too far too fast or just wasn't ready to be a full term baby yet. Whatever your reason(s), you were not shy about letting us know you were not ready.

Everyone under the same roof! This picture was taken a few days after you had been home. We were giving you a wee break from your feeding tube. We had to put a new one in and thought you looked quite happy without it next to your brothers. Five days later, it was gone for good! (Because you said so.)

So, here is what mommy learned, you are an individual. As far as I know, you have been an individual since before you were born. You came to us with a separate and distinct personality unique from your brothers, unique from mom and dad. You are unique and special to the core. Even though I wanted you to "just eat and come home already," you weren't ready. So even if I wished it really, really hard, you were going to do things on your own schedule. You showed me this more than once during your NICU stay, so by the time you did get home, I was ready. I was not going to put you or your brothers in a one size fits all triplet box. This important lesson of seeing you and your brothers as unique, separate beings has been the catalyst for other immensely important lessons to a mother.

I've learned patience. I've learned sub-species of patience that I didn't even know existed. I've learned to think with my creative brain to solve problems from time to time. (Or hour to hour.) I've learned the importance of moments. Small, individual moments throughout a day add up. Even if finding out which precise spot gets a tickle laugh during a diaper change is all you can manage for one morning, it's important.

You're an old soul my dear daughter. I've looked through those bright blue eyes and have seen your wisdom. Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy. Thank you for teaching me with such clarity. Everyday has been a new adventure for me. I can't wait to see what another year together has in store for us!

I have treasured your expression when your daddy walks through the door. This has happened since day one. Even as a tiny, newly discharged preemie, I noticed how your countenance changed when you saw your dad. These kinds of moments still happen. I have a feeling they will continue for a long, long time.

I have loved watching your eyes take in something new and see the gears in that pretty little head of yours turn as you process your surroundings. I love the sweet little gap in your two front teeth. I love the fact that you have a toddler version of a sweet tooth. (Just like your mommy.) I love your babbles. I love when you splash in the tub. I love your monk-like chant when you're falling asleep or waking up. I love your laugh that you share with sparsity, but when you do, it's like chubby cherubs playing hide and seek.

I love your light. You are indeed our beautiful, warm Sunshine.

We can't get enough of this smile!

Our pretty in pink princess.
Our family wasn't a family until you made your homecoming debut.

Welcome Home Baby B

Dear Gabriel,

I don't call you Gabriel very often. You're my little Gabe. You're mommy is amazed and caught off guard at how fast time ticks by. One year ago today, we brought you home from the hospital. You had been making new friends there for about 3 months. Plenty of nurses loved taking care of you. You had a knack for getting caregivers wrapped around your tiny finger. Of course your parents were hooked from day one.


We had complex emotions as we packed you and your things. We had gratitude for everyone who helped take care of your brother at home while mom went back and forth to the hospital for you and your sister. We had blissful charm in our hearts for one more healthy baby able to leave the tangle of wires and monitors. Soon you would be in the secure arms of mommy and daddy. We had one-third of our hearts broken. Your sister, still not ready, would be left behind again as she had to say good-bye to another brother. Taking another angel home while still leaving one behind wasn't any easier the second time.

All ready to go join brother.

Safely tucked in your seat and buckled in the car, your dad drove us home with careful happiness. Once home, we snuggled you by your brother. We took lots of pictures. Your mom attempted to breast feed you both. (TRICKY!!) Family popped in and out over the next few days welcoming you home, snuggling you close and happy to change diapers and clothes without the mess of wires and tubes.

All my boys.

What surprises me the most is the person you are today. When we brought you home, you were so sensitive to...well, everything! Your little nervous system was still catching up from being born 12 weeks early. It was a little heart-breaking to see your scared face when my arm would pass over your head while changing you. You liked to be swaddled tighter than a cocoon. We really needed to protect you from the outside stimulus that just happens in normal life.

But now! A year later, you love to roughhouse with your dad. You love to be held down and tickled. You love when someone chases you. Your loud laughter echoes through our home. You were the last one to crawl and a little behind your sister and brother when it came time to roll and move. Now you are upright, bi-pedal and I can't close doors fast enough to keep your curious legs out. You are a magician in finding out every place you're not supposed to go and in finding everything you shouldn't have. Your day is full tilt from the minute you wake up to the moment your little blond head hits your favorite red blanket.

You have taught your mommy so much. I've learned that even though you might share a mom, a womb, a room, a birthday, the same breakfast, every child is unique and extraordinary with their own style, quirks and independent spirit. I've learned to never underestimate one's ability to learn and change. I've learned that prayer is powerful, grounding and completely crucial to raising children. I've learned a mother's heart is indeed capable of loving more than one tiny baby, more than one homecoming miracle, more than one busy, buzzing toddler.




Happy Homecoming Day Gabe. We love you so much.

Welcome Home Baby A

Dear Christian,

Happy Homecoming Day! One year ago today you left your first home of 3 1/2 months for your new home of forever; home with your family. You spent 82 days in the NICU and came home one day after my due date. You came home on a Sunday and the day before, your Aunt Shauna and Grandma D threw mom and dad a baby shower. The hospital called me that morning and told me you were ready to come home! My emotions billowed from my belly and I was overwhelmed. We had been there for months and months and finally you were strong enough, well enough and big enough to leave the safety of monitors and nurses.

Our first day being next to each other, eight days after you were born.

Your dad and I drove to the hospital the next day with elation and rapture. It was actually the first time making the drive to the hospital that I felt this emotion. You were coming home. There were papers to sign and items put in bags. The bustle and excitement of getting you strapped in your seat took some time. Then the nurse said, ok, that's it. Time to go.



I lived the word "bittersweet" that day. Because my good humor of taking home my baby suddenly cut my breath short because I had to say good-bye to the ones we were leaving behind.

Of course I would still be able to come and do my regular visits. But you couldn't come with me. Your dad went to work for us almost everyday to provide for things we needed. Our situation was about to get notably complicated. We had to figure out had to be this separate family.

You would be in our home, free of wires and tests and beeps. The others still not ready. They would be in your old house, hooked up, monitored and just, not home.

The nurse carried your car seat out of the unit, down the hall and through the doors of the hospital. I followed with surprised reluctance and flowing tears. You have spent almost every day of your life with those babies we left behind that day. So when you read this, when I tell you I was sad, I know you'll understand.

Although pieces of my heart were left behind, we were over the moon to have you home. It was very special for you to have your mom and you dad all to yourself. We held you, kissed your sweet face, changed your tiny diapers and swaddled you in new blankets. I didn't sleep one iota the first night you were home. I kept putting my finger under your tiny nose to feel your warm breaths. The monitor dependency took some time to go away. Your dad and I were both nervous and excited to have you all to ourselves. We didn't have nurses and doctors telling us what we needed to do. But at the same time, we didn't have nurses and doctors telling us what we had to do. Somehow, we managed to do a few things right. You were fed, cleaned, cuddled, changed, loved, burped and the center of our universe for that first week home by yourself.

So along with your birthday, which you share with your best buddies, we also celebrate today. March 28th, Christian's Homecoming Day. Because a year later, we still have a lot to rejoice in and be grateful for in your life. Any reason to celebrate you and your light is a good day.