Sunday, December 4, 2011

Not Alone

It's hard not to stare.  I mean, three little faces in ONE shopping cart?  I'd certainly stop the driver of that rig and ask a few questions.

It's a common reaction when seeing my crew in public.  In fact, some reactions are so intense, you would think we were the only triplet family for miles and miles and miles.  Not another set of triplets in the state!

"You mean their ALL the same age! NOOOOO!"  The purple-haired woman says, clutching her shocked heart.    

But, alas, it's not true.  We are not the only family with 3 kids that share the exact same birthday.  There are more of us.  Much more.    We've recently hooked up with a Facebook group of triplet families.  And they do stuff!  Like, throw parties and stuff!  So on Saturday night, we found ourselves in a noisy church cultural hall with dozens and dozens of kids going in every direction.   It was maddening and crazy and I'm so glad we went.  

There are plenty of strange emotions that come from being mama to multiples.  

Worry from the thought of their individuality being squashed by the mere fact they have a collective name.  The triplets.  

Guilt from constantly being a scene stealer at larger family functions or reunions.  "Oh, the triplets!  Look at them!"  Meanwhile, equally darling nieces, nephews, grandsons and granddaughters are not being fussed and fawned over.  

Fear of future therapy visits because you subconsciously gave your lower birth weight child the biggest piece of (fill-in-the-blank) at the dinner table for years.  You didn't think anyone noticed.  They all noticed.  

Sigh.  Weird, weird thoughts.

So, here, at this mass gathering families similar to ours, we weren't alone!  True, I only had about 5 half-conversations because we were all wrangling and chasing and if a parent didn't have to wrangle and chase, they were helping someone else track down a missing baby.  

So, none of the above irrational fears concerns were actually discussed, but it was enough.  

It was enough to meet moms of older triplets who were put together and happy and seemed to somehow survive their kids being 23 months old.  

It was enough to meet moms of triplets that were close to in age to mine.  Like we belonged to this secret band of warriors.  We didn't have to talk about our upcoming battles, we just knew we were in it together.

It was enough to see other daddies balance, juggle, and sacrifice their own dinner to help their munchkins eat.  For some reason, this one gave me hope for all mankind.  

And what I loved most, is that this was the one place where I couldn't even play the triplet card!  For a few hours, we were all normal, and no one was staring or asking me if they all belonged to me and if they were triplets.  No gasps or sighs or "oh, I would kill myself."  (Still get this one from time to time.)  

It was like a giant therapy session with a delicious potato bar and cookies for dessert.  

Oh, and lots of darling siblings palling around in threes.  Can't wait for the next session.  I mean, party.    


michael. mindy. dane. said...

sounds awesome! glad you got to go :)

Steve Galley said...

I'll bet you and your little secret band of warrior multiple moms talk trash about us one-at-a-timers. Pffff. Go change the diaperS!!

Melanie Sharp said...

I love it, Kara! And I know it's not the same, but the stares and comments happen even when the children don't share a birthday, but happen to be close in age. A woman at the farmer's market recently told me my life looked like her worst nightmare (and I wasn't even deescalating a tantrum or anything!), and a man at TJ's asked if people called me "The Factory". Ummm.....that's just a little awkward, thanks. There is definitely something fantastic about connecting with people who know a little about your reality and support you through it.

The Colbys... written by Erin said...

AHHH so fun! We have "the triplets" as we lovingly call them living 2 doors down from us! they are all 5 and SO fun! Makes me want to have triplets.... wait... no.. maybe just twins.. wait.. no more kids! I wish I could be a bug on the wall sometimes and watch all you amazing mommas of three of the same age. But you are NOT alone, i personally know THREE families of triplets! how is that possible? AWESOME!

Caitlin said...

aww, i'm so happy u were able to have this special chance to be surrounded my mutli-birthday wonders! :) hehe. i bet it must be tough feeling like u're the only family with triplets, but kno that not only are u not alone, but regardless of whether a child has their own bday or shares it with their siblings, every parent struggles with wondering if they are doing things perfectly. there are no perfect answers, and just doing ur best is all u can do...u luv ur kiddies and are being the best mom u can be...they're lucky to have ya! :)