Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Unanswered Question

There was a question asked in Sunday School a few days ago.

I don't remember the exact wording. I'll paraphrase, 'What do you do to keep your marriage strong and think of your spouse as your eternal companion?' Something like that.

Of course I thought about it. But there were much wiser, more experienced couples in that room and I wanted to hear what they had to say. And who really wants the girl who looks like she has been married for 3 minutes to raise her hand? Really.

But, I do have some kind of answer. I think. Or at least a few thoughts meandering on the subject of my marriage and love for my own eternal best friend. I thought of the last 4+ years that I have been married to Chris. I thought of our dating years. I thought of how our relationship has evolved and grown.

It's amazing what the differences are between now and then. Flowers and expensive dates and long phone messages were the norm. Every other week it seemed he had a new gift for me. We went to almost every fancy schmancy restaurant around. I was enamored and impressed. But don't worry, despite all the trappings, I still fell in love with just plain old him. Ok, bad choice of words, but you get it right? I knew I didn't need all the extra stuff. I completely loved him. So when he said, 'will you?' I said, 'yes.' Then 2 months later I said, 'I do.' Then a year later, I said 'I will - forever.' (Our history in four sentences.)

Now fast forward to now. Not as many fancy schmancy restaurants on a regular basis. Flowers, yes. But not as often. Gifts? Of course. But not every other week. But you know the amazing thing? Better, much better things have replaced those 'dating' tokens.

He makes the bed, even though we are 'just going to get right back in it tonight!' He encourges me to put my seat back on long drives and turns the music down so I can sleep in the car. He tells me I look like a 'masterpiece' on the way to church, even though I woke up 20 minutes before we needed to leave and am pretty sure I still had a big sleep line down the side of my cheek. He laid down on the ground one early morning and slept next to me when I was puking and didn't want to be too far away from the bathroom. I gain five pounds and he tells me he loves my new curves. I lose five pounds and he tells me he loves my new figure. Breakfast in bed happens on a regular basis. He calls me to tell me he downloaded a new song because it reminded him of me. When the answer is 'no thank you' when asked if I want to eat ice cream with him, he gets me a bowl still, because he knows I'll eat it and love it anyway. When we are walking side by side, reaching for my hand is second nature. There are more reasons. Some are too special to share in this medium. Those, I'll keep to myself.

How mushy! Gross. Sorry. But these were my thoughts as we were sitting by eachother that Sunday and I could feel his warm arm around my shoulder. I know he was thinking about us too because he gave me the slightest little squeeze and brought me in a little closer.

Squeezes vs flowers? Squeeze please! And only four years? Imagine 40 years from now. Can't wait!


David and Brooke Gallagher said...

I think you have a great answer to your question. And you two will have a strong forever marriage because you not only know the answer to that question but you can feel it as well. Thanks for reminding me why I have a wonderful eternal marriage myself!

michael. mindy. dane. said...

I'm crying! I love this. I love this I love this!

Shauna said...

Wow! I also have tears, you are both amazing!

Anonymous said...

You guys are so cute

Hamblin Family said...

Thanks for this Kara! I read it at the perfect time to help me remember those things about my own eternal best friend! I have to admit after our 9 years there are moments that are stressful...and this post helped me to remember they are only moments. I have a guy who really loves me and I really love him and that is how it will always be. Thanks for gettin' past the moment!