The windows are down on a warm summer day and we are cruising to some little lunch spot we've been wanting to try. Just the two of us. A comfortable silence settles when a favorite song comes on the radio. He looks over at me and smiles during the chorus. The words remind him of us. I smile back. We are happy. And so in love.
This little vignette with my husband of six years popped into my head last night as I was getting dressed and kind of in shock at how big my belly has grown. I'm 3 months pregnant. (Go ahead and read that last sentence again. It's not a typo.) I'm not sure why that particular memory came flooding to my tired mind with such clarity.
It's probably because I really loved those days of just the two of us. But I also really couldn't wait for them to be over. I feel lucky to have been so aware of how wonderful it was to go out to dinner on a Tuesday just because. Or take a 2 hour nap together on Sunday. Or sleep in until 10 on the weekends. But those days are over. For now. Maybe my subconscious has been looking forward to when they will start up again. Or maybe just reminding me that what we have together, both then and now is really, really great.
Because we just extended our delay of sleeping in and Tuesday nights out a little longer. The little bean that is cooking inside me right now was a serendipitous, spontaneous surprise. Really a miracle, given our history.
So I won't waste one minute (I already had my moments of panic and fretting two months ago - I'm done) complaining about having a baby in the middle of two-year old triplets. Or waste one second wondering where I'm going to have the gumption, where-with-all or energy to do this. Because I've already shed too many tears in the past over other women's comments of this very nature. When it was just the two of us. I hated to see even a hint of disappointment when a pregnancy announcement was made, whatever their reason. It turned my heart to cement. It was too much to ask to be forgiving of their fertile womb. (I've since mended ways of this kind of thinking. Before the kids got here, thank goodness!)
I asked for this. Not this EXACT situation, granted. But I pleaded, none the less, for a little family to love and cherish. I put my heart and soul on the alter and said to take it all. I didn't want to be in charge anymore. I was willing to go and do what was asked of me. God heard me. So how I can be anything less than grateful?
We're having a summer baby!
(and just the one. singular. confirmed by ultra-sound in case you were wondering.)
Also, this scripture has been running around in my mind for the last 11 weeks or so.