Monday, March 28, 2011

Welcome Home Baby A

Dear Christian,

Happy Homecoming Day! One year ago today you left your first home of 3 1/2 months for your new home of forever; home with your family. You spent 82 days in the NICU and came home one day after my due date. You came home on a Sunday and the day before, your Aunt Shauna and Grandma D threw mom and dad a baby shower. The hospital called me that morning and told me you were ready to come home! My emotions billowed from my belly and I was overwhelmed. We had been there for months and months and finally you were strong enough, well enough and big enough to leave the safety of monitors and nurses.

Our first day being next to each other, eight days after you were born.

Your dad and I drove to the hospital the next day with elation and rapture. It was actually the first time making the drive to the hospital that I felt this emotion. You were coming home. There were papers to sign and items put in bags. The bustle and excitement of getting you strapped in your seat took some time. Then the nurse said, ok, that's it. Time to go.



I lived the word "bittersweet" that day. Because my good humor of taking home my baby suddenly cut my breath short because I had to say good-bye to the ones we were leaving behind.

Of course I would still be able to come and do my regular visits. But you couldn't come with me. Your dad went to work for us almost everyday to provide for things we needed. Our situation was about to get notably complicated. We had to figure out had to be this separate family.

You would be in our home, free of wires and tests and beeps. The others still not ready. They would be in your old house, hooked up, monitored and just, not home.

The nurse carried your car seat out of the unit, down the hall and through the doors of the hospital. I followed with surprised reluctance and flowing tears. You have spent almost every day of your life with those babies we left behind that day. So when you read this, when I tell you I was sad, I know you'll understand.

Although pieces of my heart were left behind, we were over the moon to have you home. It was very special for you to have your mom and you dad all to yourself. We held you, kissed your sweet face, changed your tiny diapers and swaddled you in new blankets. I didn't sleep one iota the first night you were home. I kept putting my finger under your tiny nose to feel your warm breaths. The monitor dependency took some time to go away. Your dad and I were both nervous and excited to have you all to ourselves. We didn't have nurses and doctors telling us what we needed to do. But at the same time, we didn't have nurses and doctors telling us what we had to do. Somehow, we managed to do a few things right. You were fed, cleaned, cuddled, changed, loved, burped and the center of our universe for that first week home by yourself.

So along with your birthday, which you share with your best buddies, we also celebrate today. March 28th, Christian's Homecoming Day. Because a year later, we still have a lot to rejoice in and be grateful for in your life. Any reason to celebrate you and your light is a good day.




8 comments:

michael. mindy. dane. said...

Ah! Talk about tear jerker! So well-written, as always. Love you, Christian!

Jenna said...

Tears for sure! Love you Christian! (And you look real good in that SUU gear ;)

cwrootmaster said...

I can't even imagine what a great day this is for you, I am so excited for you and love reading all about your family. This for sure was a great cry moment I hope all is well and love hearing about you!!!

Kim said...

What a precious, adorable post! Amazing how much can change in a year! What a sweetie!

Michelle said...

I love your tender thoughts - he is sure cute!

Rach Williams said...

Time FLIES by. These kidlets grow up too fast!!!

Jim said...

Adorable!

Shauna said...

Love you Mr. Christian.