Thursday, January 6, 2011

Happy Birthday

I should be asleep. But we are a few minutes away from the big B-day. I'm finding myself in reflection once again. (I know, it's getting old.) One year ago I was in the operating room. Crazy. There are a lot of things I could write about. A lot of things I could say. Maybe make fireworks come though your screen in celebration of our two pound miracles turning one. But only one thing is coming to my mind.

We didn't do this alone.

I used to have them daily--sometimes hourly--depending on the situation. Little thoughts would creep into my brain about how inadequate I felt to be mama, mama, mama. How ill-prepared I was. How completely scared of messing up raising three babies the same age. (I think Chris was born for this. It's so natural for him. And if he's ever felt less than what he is, he's never let me know. My rock.) Sometimes it was crippling. The realization that I was given this gift of three spirits at the same time often left me weeping with feelings of failure before I even started! What a sight for any flies on the wall. Giant pregnant woman holding her bulging belly and apologizing to it for being an unfit mother before she was even a mother at all.

But before these thoughts could really plant themselves in my head, another quite opposite thought came to my heart. But this one always warmed me from head to toe. It was always quiet and gentle. You're not going to be doing this alone. I would never ask you to do something you can't handle. You're stronger than you know. Just wait. I'll show you.

I did see. I've never been alone. Angels both unseen and of flesh and blood have been by our sides. Even as I write this, that warm feeling is again in my heart. Even a year later, still not alone. Which is a good thing because I definitely need the help. I keep trusting and it makes my fear and deficiencies lessen. I'm not sure if the fear and inaptness will ever disappear completely. (I am a person after all.) Maybe I'm glad. Because praying for strength on a daily basis I believe has actually made me stronger. So instead of crippling inadequacy, it's more like limping inadequacy. I can handle limping.

12:09
12:10
12:11

Three minutes that will always have my heart!

Here is my little birthday present to all of you. A little peek at what was going on in the pre-delivery room hours before the birth. I was having magnesium pumped into my body and was extremely hot. (Meaning temperature. Just in case you watch the video and think I meant really really good looking.) I can't believe I'm putting this on the www interweb world of cyberspace.

ps - Love love love the narrator. He actually is hot.





video



Pictures of my little monsters next post...

12 comments:

Mike/Margaret said...

Thank you for sharing. I wish we could have been there to help you through it all.

Happy Birthday to you all, Happy Birthday to you all, Happy Birthday dear Christian, Gabe and Sunshine, Happy Birthday to you all.

It has all been a miracle. Someone has been watching over you. LOve and kisses for everyone. Save me a piece of Birthday cake.

Chandler and Alaina said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHRISTIAN, GABE AND SUNSHINE!!! They are getting So big! Thanks for the Christmas card!

Karen said...

You are one hot mama of three. I would never have guessed there are three babies under that blanket. Aren't you glad they are out and doing so awesome? I love the new picture of them in their Christmas attire. So cute. Hunter has the same sweater vest as Gabe? The one with the argyle print? Did I get the name with the right baby?

michael. mindy. dane. said...

What do I even say to this? Besides maybe HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and HAPPY BIRHTDAY! Oh my word. I just realized we only sang once to the trio instead of individually. How lame are we? Sorry about that. I can't believe it's been a year! Love the video. Love those kiddos :)

Shauna said...

Happy Birthday to the Trifecta! We luvva luvva luvva you :)

trishthefish said...

Happy Birthday everyone! What an amazing, fun-filled year it's been. It's been so much fun watching you all grow...as children and parents :) Thank you for blogging and keeping us in the loop. We think of you often. I love those sweet faces too. Miss you guys!

michelle grange said...

I think you look pretty hot in the vid (not just temperature). :) Happy birthday to three beautiful kids! So happy for you guys! Can't wait to meet you!! Kara, you are an amazing mom. Love you!

Jimi said...

Sending 3 wonderful wishes to Christian, Gabe and Sunshine!! We hope that you had a wonderful day full of even more smiles, laughter and love. Amazing how far you have come in jut one year!! Love, Newkirks

MrsD said...

It should also be said that your family has been blessed by this terrific trio! I will NOT take any credit for anything, but our lives did not get put on hold when the babies came, but somehow time was created so we could be part of this amazing year and still go to work, to school, and get what ever else had to be done, done! I consider this one of the many tender mercies that was showered on us this year. How grateful I am for children who exercise their faith and love one another. All our grandchildren will grow in love and faith because of your examples. Actually, it all I ever wanted.( Except for maybe a new couch!!)

MrsD said...

It should also be said that your family has been blessed by this terrific trio! I will NOT take any credit for anything, but our lives did not get put on hold when the babies came, but somehow time was created so we could be part of this amazing year and still go to work, to school, and get what ever else had to be done, done! I consider this one of the many tender mercies that was showered on us this year. How grateful I am for children who exercise their faith and love one another. All our grandchildren will grow in love and faith because of your examples. Actually, it all I ever wanted.( Except for maybe a new couch!!)

MrsD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MrsD said...

what the . . .I press once and comments show up ad nauseam sorry